After reading my friend Adam’s blog post about an unstable, emo minivan driver who doesn’t let his clear misunderstanding of the unwritten rules of the road stop him from being a model anger-management poster child jerk, I was in the process of writing a response comment and decided it was more suited to a blog post. Read his post first, and then see my response:

Admittedly, I get aggravated at times when people drive “too slow” in the far left lane, as it is universal driving code a weak suggestion that the left lane of a highway is reserved for Autobahn longers and Andretti wannabes, as advised by the signs that read “Slower Traffic Keep Right”. But, this second lane my friend speaks of is what is referred to as the “kiss-my-ass lane”, for if you want to travel 55 mph in that or any other lane right of the leftmost, that is your pedal pressing prerogative. I would like to see said minivan survive against the Porsches and Audis traveling the leftmost lane of the Autobahn. Good game, sir. Minivan FTL. But I digress… the small-statured minivan driver was clearly in the wrong and I give my friend a slap on the butt followed by a verbal “good hustle” for holding his ground in the no-man’s-land lane against this perpetrator of universal driving code.

His situation reminds me of the time on 400N when I saw an SUV driver pull out a hand-gat (looked to be about a .45 caliber handgun cum rocket launcher) and point it out the driver side window at the operator of a smaller vehicle who he had an obvious disagreement with moments earlier over left-lane speed. No shots were fired, but it was proof positive that there are people driving on my road who would benefit from professional counseling. I wonder how easy it would be to mount aircraft guns on the front of my car…