Jillian, remembered
This has been a difficult month. Not long after the passing of my beloved grandmother, I received a call this week that my good friend Jillian “Jey” Edwards had passed. I’ve been extremely fortunate to have never lost a friend in this way before.
Jillian, who I fondly referred to as “Buttercup”, was 31… an age too young for such as talented, kind-hearted individual to leave this world. She was beautiful beyond words, kind to people and animals alike, and wanted to give so much to this world. One way she gave was with her music, writing deeply inspired guitar melodies and lyrics; and skillfully reciting them in song. She was an adept musician, massage therapist, rock climber, cook, and a budding swing dancer. She put all of her soul into her friendships, as can be attested to by all the people who felt her gravity and were attracted into her life. As this world is full of balance, there was a dark side to her bright persona. Jillian suffered greatly from a debilitating disorder that would cause her emotional suffering at times beyond what any average human could possibly imagine. She was courageous in battling for the stability and normality that most people unknowingly take for granted. 
During her bad times and good times alike, she and I would exchange music and song lyrics that had some special meaning to each of us. The night before her passing, I unwittingly emailed her the ColdPlay song Lost! in the hope that she would find some deep meaning and enjoyment in it, as I have. Little did I know how apropos it would turn out to be. Rest in peace, Buttercup.
Just because I’m losing
Doesn’t mean I’m lost
Doesn’t mean I’ll stop
Doesn’t mean I would cross
Just because I’m hurting
Doesn’t mean I’m hurt
Doesn’t mean I didn’t get
What I deserved
No better and no worse
I just got lost
Every river that I tried to cross
Every door I ever tried was locked
Ohhh and I’m…
Just waiting ’til the shine wears off
You might be a big fish
In a little pond
Doesn’t mean you’ve won
Cause along may come
A bigger one
And you’ll be lost
Every river that you tried to cross
Every gun you ever held went off
Ohhh and I’m…
Just waiting until the firing stops
Ohhh and I’m…
Just waiting ’til the shine wears off
Ohhh and I…
Just waiting ’til the shine wears off
Ohhh and I…
Just waiting ’til the shine wears off
March 1st, 2010 at 8:16 am
I miss Jey sooooo much. She inspired me to finally take up the guitar. It was always a pleasure to see her behind the desk everyday I came to work. As beautiful inside as out. She’ll be missed.
March 9th, 2010 at 12:23 pm
Thank you Allen. I still miss Jey alot. She meant so much me and I know you as well. Jey was a very special person in this world. She had the smile of an angel and a personality that would mezmerize everyone. Evey moment with her was of the most value in my life. She taught me that love was the most important thing we can experience in this life. I know your still looking down on us and I want you to know I still love you.
Sincerely,
Shaye